Tuneless prose

You and I were friends.
I never thought I'd feel this terrible.
It saddens me.

Why, you ask?
I don't know.
I know you wouldn't want me to feel this bad.

You were too nice.
You never had to try.
You had big dreams...

Nothing ever lasts.
You're living proof.
At least, you are now, but you're not living.

I can't help thinking.
I think about the things you'll never do.
You'll never play another soccer game.

You'll never turn fourteen.
You'll never graduate.
You'll never get married.

Have you even had a girlfriend yet?
No.
I feel sorry for you.

I cry for you.
For all the things you'll never get to do.
And now it's worse.

It was just new year, my dear.
Would you have been fourteen by now?
I don't know.

I never bothered to get your birthday.
And now I will never be able to.
I know your path will be one I'll never cross again.

Every night.
You keep me up.
How can I sleep when you're asleep forever?

I loathe waterfalls.
They steal away from me.
People don't even notice.

And why should I tell them?
They'll think I'm crazy.
But I still think, on my own.

It's been four months.
I'm plagued by you.
It comes out at night when no one's watching.

I'm anguished.
I didn't know you that well.
We never kept in touched when I left.

But if I could go back, I'd keep you forever.
I'd steal you away so you would stay here.
Breathing. Thriving.

You had success in you.
It was waiting for the right moment to be unleashed.
That moment never came and never will.

What can I do?
Nothing.
I want to do something, but I can't control time.

I'm going to do something great.
I want to make a difference.
You'll never see it now.

You'd never read the book dedicated to you.
But it will be.
Because I'm going to make a difference for you.

I wonder if you're happy.
Are you happy?
If your soul is floating around and reading this, I hope you are.

You deserve it.
You were brilliant.
I miss it.

Even if I didn't keep in touch, the thought that you were there is what counted.
I just feel empty.
I didn't think about it.

And when I search your name, things come up.
All the stories about two boys drowning.
At the waterfall.

I found your Youtube.
I see you've not been active since August.
And I know why.

But what can I do?
Of course I've thought about joining you.
We could be happy.

But now I know the pain.
And if I left like you did, others would feel that.
I can't bear to put such a pain on them.

Just know, if you're out there.
I care.
And I cry.