Sunday, September 30, 2012

October.

OOOOOOOOHHHH!! It's October. The month of the scary....stuff.

Start getting your Halloween costumes ready! You can NEVER be too old. Guess who I'm going to be? It's not that hard. It's the person...who I keep writing about...with the mask....?

Anyways, I am super excited because I have a hat, a cape, and I found gloves. WOOHOO!

So I actually have no idea what to talk about. So this'll kind of be A LITTLE ILLUMINATION, GENTLEMEN! DUN DUNDUNDUDNUDNUDN!!! Haha, sorry, I couldn't resist.
As I was saying, before my POTO mind took over, this'll be a little overview of what I'm thinking of posting. If there's anything you want to see sooner than later, leave me a comment and I'll try to write it up.

I was thinking of posting another From the Mind Of from little Erik's point of view because then I could describe how his mask was the first thing he ever wore, and how when he looked in the mirror...actually, I got the inspiration for this from one of my friends who posted these pictures. The one of little Erik looking in the mirror was practically heartbreaking.

"I'm... I'm...ugly...."

Cry, cry, cry, cry. But actually I think that'll turn out more like a fanfic, so it'll take me a while to write. I might even post it on the fanfic website after I'm finished with it. But it will definitely take me a while because I want to post it all in one, multiple chapters never get finished. Haha.

I'm also thinking of making my own Les Miserables parody. Because hilarious things can be done with that show. Again, it'll also turn out as a fanfic.

For the 30th I'll try to get up a post on the Tell-Tale Heart. Poe....oh lord. He is one of the most AMAZING authors ever. EVER. He combines the perfect amount of darkness into his stories...
Buahaha. It's like something Eriky would write! But I have to tell you I am NOT a fan of that picture of him. Freaky....
You have to admit that's kinda freaky...

Anyways, tell me too if there's a From the Mind Of you'd like me to write. Though I don't guarantee I know the characters.

Until next time,

Your obedient friend and servant.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Lottery

For one of my classes I just read The Lottery by Shirley Jackson. Let me just tell you that is possibly the WORST piece of writing I have EVER read. EVER.

It starts off fine enough, like "oh, its such a nice lovely day im just gonna pile these stones over here kay? kay."

And then it turns into the Hunger Games.

Personally, I find that IDIOTIC.

I was never a fan of the theme of the Hunger Games. I mean, okay, it's well-written and everything, but the message it gives out is a terrible one. "lets name our daughter katniss and when she grows up she can kill oll the otha kids!"

In fact, that may very well be where Miss Cooper got her inspiration to write that.

It's THAT similar.

I don't understand why my school program would caution readers about reading the Tell-Tale Heart but don't even find anything from with The Lottery. (Loved Tell-Tale Heart by the way, Poe is fabulous.)

NO WONDER so many people cancelled their subscriptions to the New Yorker magazine when that was published. That was terrible.

The thing that hurt me the most is that I just lost someone I cared about. And to have someone in that story killed needlessly, and that the other people enjoy it....AWFUL.

This is definitely a story on my "Do not read list."

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

From the mind of... (and a special mention)

Today was a terrific week in musical theatre history! It was Ramin Karimloo's birthday!
AAANND it was also someone else's birthday who I know!!! Happy birthday. I would make you a peach cake except it'd get squashed somewhere along the thousands of miles that we are separated by. So you'll have to settle with this picture.
Also in honor I am going to make my "From the mind of..." this time from a somewhat out of character Enjolras. With an appearance from a little person. Enjoy.
From the mind of...
Enjolras
Unbelievable. They call this a revolution? My men are hardly here half the time. They go off on tangents and disappear until they are replaced by others. Sometimes I consider doing the replacing. My life has been turned upside down. All of my friends that remain tease me about certain things...especially that Gavroche. He just won't leave me be, honestly. Everyone would have forgotten about it if it hadn't been for him. Anyways, I suppose I could get him back for that. I can attempt to try to tease him about vampires...but who knows how long that will last.
I remember all the stress that boy has put me through. There was that time that...I can't even remember. He has injured himself so much. He fought his father and refused to get stitches for a while and was confined to bed rest... And he never seemed to take care of himself. He denied my offer of lodging, it must have been twenty times, at least. Ah, but I still remember the time he attempted to go to school. Messed it up in an instant. Still, I am certain he considers me one of his closest friends.
Back to the matter of my friends, we should practice. The barricade needs to go into action any day now. Who knows, we could try fighting there. We could fight, and die valiantly, and reduce poor little Gavroche to tears even after he's dead. And we could come back the next day like nothing happened.
And...ah, it's complicated.
Speaking of complicated, that's what I think of when I think of Eponine. She... I don't know what to think about her. I thought I swore to myself that I would be devoted to the cause and  not even cast a second glance at women. But I seem...
No, none of that. Sure, perhaps her and I could have some kind of future, we could marry even and have a chi-...
What has gotten into me today? I must be stressed. Yes, that's it. Tired from studies. And the revolution. No one seems to understand how hard it is to juggle all of these things at the same time. It's...somewhat torturing. People always seem to wonder why I am so distant, and why I have no time for relationships...there's their reason. But I cannot say that to them, they would take it as a bourgeois remark. But the tire is unavoidable. And yet, I still have a speech to write for tomorrow......

From the mind of...

Erik
That girl. Who is she? The temptress who has managed to capture my thought and body hole, lured into her sweet, intoxicating song.
Christine Daae. The name that seems to be created by angels. Such a wonderful girl that I have watched since she first came to the opera. She is not a girl anymore, she is a charming woman. Or perhaps a demon, to have me taken with her in such a devoted way.
Ah, the first day she set foot in the opera was one I shall not soon forget. The air seemed to have changed, the very feel of the entire opera was lighter. As I pondered from my box, silently, not making any sound for fear of being heard by the cast, my eye was immediately drawn to this young maiden.
She was still young then, or younger, perhaps, and as I prowled around the opera I could see the amazement in her face. Oh, how I longed that it should be I, I showing her these marvelous delights around the opera.
I shan't forget the first time I heard hear sing, oh, no. Never. That day was perhaps one of the most marvelous of my life. Christine had been previously talking with the ballet girls. I had been eavesdropping, naturally, and had come up with quite a good idea.
Christine had been counting on her father to send her an angel from heaven to teach her how to sing. She was counting on it and had apparently been discouraged.
"Well," thought I, "I could teach her to sing. She wouldn't see me, of course, but I would hide in her walls." I thought this was practically ideal, for she would get her angel, and I would get the privilege of seeing her every day.
Then, she sang for her ballet girls. My heart nearly burst. She was perfect. Voice of an angel, however not exactly trained yet.
I burned with desire to teach her, and followed her throughout the day hoping to manage to whisper something to her. I thought how I could get her to sing, and be recognized. I would create a diversion, yes...
I finally found her alone for a moment, lacing up her slippers.
"Sing..." I breathed, in no more than a faint whisper.
She turned around once, and, concluding no one was there, went back to the task at hand.
"Sing..." I said, again, quietly.
"Who's there?" she asked, I could hear the fear in her voice. It pleasured me.
"Sing..."
She turned and fled the room, heading to rehearsals. I, on the other hand, ran up to the balcony and began my work untying the ropes from the backdrop. That blasted Buquet fool wasn't even there.
Finally, I managed to undo the backdrop, sending it flying to the ground with a loud bang. I immediately proceeded to one of my spots, where I could watch and hear without being seen. A moment after I had concealed myself, that blasted Buquet fool jogged past me, and called down that no one had been up there and these things happen.
Imbicile.
Much to my delight, Carlotta stomped off stage in a fury. The managers appeared distraught, as usual. Then one of the ballet girls came forth and volunteered Christine. She tried to deny.
"Sing..."
She appeared to have heard me, for she looked around and stood in the middle of the stage. And she sang. It was beautiful, as I had expected.
Immediately, the managers rushed to get her a dressing room and declared she would be an understudy. They told her she needed voice lessons, and she nodded amiably to everything, obviously overwhelmed.
I stood behind the mirror, the one way mirror, so I could observe her. She was just sitting and staring at the wall, taking in everything that had happened.
I dared not to speak for a few minutes, but eventually I said, "Bravissimi."
She jumped with quite I start I immediately started to feel guilty about frightening her so.
"It's you! Who's there? Where are you?"
My heart leaped. She was talking to me! Me! Although she did not know who I was, it warmed me with such sensation...
"I am inside your mind...Christine...Christine...I am your Angel of Music..."
She turned around frantically and the seemed to accept the fact that I was not physically there with her.
"You...are the Angel of Music?"
"Yes."
"Why have you come here?"
"I am going to teach you to sing, naturally. It is no coincidence that La Carlotta was in a rage today."
The months that followed were delightful. I got the joy of seeing Christine everyday, and it because my habit to follow her around the whole of the opera. It was addictive, I couldn't resist staying away.
Eventually, the managers changed, and by that point Christine could bring down the house. She was glorious, simply, and I knew it was time for me to reveal her talent.
I dropped another backdrop. La Carlotta, as predicted, went into a rage. That blasted fool Buquet did the exact same thing as last time.
Christine stood up, shaking visibly, and I could relate to her. I peered down at her eagerly, waiting momentously for her to open her mouth and emit the most beautiful sound heard to man.
She started off, voice wavering slightly, but she continued to improve.
"Mademoiselle, you are our new prima donna."
I had succeeded.
 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Me and Erik

I always like to think of myself as the Phantom of the Opera. Erik Destler. Because Erik is so close to my name, I've just started calling myself that. And I'm obsessed with the Ph.O. So I thought you might like this.

First, a little introduction:
In January, right after I watched Les Miserables, I got totally addicted to it. (I mean, who wouldn't? It's awesome.)
My parents helped me load almost all their musical CDs onto my iPod. Except the Barber of Seville. Darn.
But anyways, when I was talking to some of my POTO friends (at this time I didn't know the characters or ANYTHING) and there were two Christine Daaes. I was so confused. I thought the same person had made two or something. Anyways, I tried listening to the Phantom of the Opera, because that was one of the soundtrack I now had and was admiring the Overture because of the AWESOME organ part.
Then I listened to Think of Me. And then they said Christine Daae. And I was like "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH DUH!"
Well, from there I listened to the whole thing. I noted 3 things:
  1. The girls scream about everything. "EEK, a backdrop fell down!" "EEK, we're talking about a lasso!" "EEEEEEK, Christine you were awesome!"
  2. Carlotta's voice is really...uh....
  3. The Phantom sounds the awesomeist, acts the awesomeist, and is the awesomeist! 
So at night I started listening to the whole thing before I fell asleep. Well, not the whole thing. Just the Phantom parts. Phantom of the Opera, Music of the Night, both Notes! And Stranger Than You Dreamt it...I could list them all here but you'd get bored.
Then I went online to wikipedia and read the summary for the book.
Then I went online to wikipedia and read the summary for the musical because he dies in the book but in the musical he just disappears.
Then I saw the book on discount in Target and a bought it without hesitation!!!
Then I read the book and cried at the end.
Then I started singing along to all of his parts in the musical and found that I can make everything (except for the Music of the Night. That song is so freaking low!)
Then I started wishing I was a boy so I could sing the Phantom.
Then, seeing as I can't change genders, I thought that I could take voice lessons and help make my voice lower. That's not really working out so far.
Then my mom got me a paper somewhat phantom mask. And I loved it. And I had this colonial boy's hat from Colonial Williamsburg and I would wear both of them together because the Phantom has a hat in the beginning of the musical.
Then I decided I would be the phantom for halloween and started getting out those old witch costumes that are made of that really stretchy black fabric that gets runners easily and decided I would make it into a cape.
Then I saw the Phantom musical in Manila with my friends and it was absolutely perfect and that is what I am going to be going on about for the next for months. Sorry Les Mis, you've been put on hold.
Then my dad bought me the REAL phantom mask (see my other post) and am even MORE motivated to be the Phantom for halloween!

I wish someone was living in my walls behind my mirror.
Erik
Actually, that would probably really freak me out, but he could give me voice lessons. That would be neat!

Erin
Anyways, here's a picture I thought you might get a laugh out of.
Thank you Bailey for going along with all my stupid ideas. And pretending to be asleep or something.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Things not to do to Les Miserables characters.

I will not taunt Valjean with loaves of bread.
I will not swear by the stars every single time I do something.
I will not show Gavroche My Fair Lady.
I will not tell Marius that Valjean saved him.
I will not ask Enjolras that if he had not sworn to himself never to look at a woman, what would his type be.
I will not tell Jehan he will die before he finds love.
I will not question Javert on why he decides to kill himself because he's alive.
I will not ask Gavroche why Eponine delivered Marius's letter instead.
I will not dig into the Thenardier's family history.
I will not eat anything served to me by the Thenardiers.
I will not steal the red flag from the top of the barricade.
I will not expose Javert as a spy.
I will not threaten Cosette because she is prettier than Eponine.
I will not point out that Eponine would be prettier than Cosette if she took a bath.
I will not buy Feuilly's fans.
I will not get into a conversation with Courfeyrac regarding women.
I will not sing "You're sexy and you know it" to Enjolras.
I will not tell Combeferre his name makes me want to grab a ferret and start combing it's hair frantically.
I will not steal Gavroche's hat.
I will not steal Enjolras' vest.
I will not steal Javert's hat.
I will not steal a loaf of bread.
I will not steal Eponine's coat.
I will not steal...well, you get the point.
I will not tell Fantine not to leave Cosette with the Thenardiers.
I will not tell the Bishop to lock up his silver better.
I will not get into a philosophy discussion with Combeferre because he would never make it to the barricade in time.
I will not tell Marius about women.
I will not run into the meeting and tell everyone what Grantaire really thinks about Enjolras.
I will not push Eponine out of the way and sing a little fall of rain.
I will not sneeze on Joly.
And I will not run up on stage to ask for Ramin's autograph. That might be hard.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Broadway Abridged- Les Mis

A few months ago, I had stumbled on this website which makes hilarious 
parodies of Broadway shows. The first one I ever red was Les Miserables. 
I thought I would just post the link on my blog, but I thought it would 
be better to copy and paste it here because I could edit language. 
I don't own anything. Enjoy!
 
LES MISERABLES ABRIDGED
                                         OR
                 "HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE FRENCH"
                         A "Broadway Abridged" Script That 
                        We've Been Meaning To Write Since 1862
                                         By Gil Varod and Jennifer Jordan





            SCENE: AN EMPTY STAGE.


                                   Stark, 80s-British-MegaMusical
                                   lighting.  


                                   A French CHAIN GANG enters and sings
                                   in outlandish British accents.


                                   CHAIN GANG
            LOOK DOWN
            LOOK DOWN
            OH, PRISON LIFE IS DEAD!
            WE DON'T
            HAVE TOOLS
            WE HAVE TO MIME INSTEAD.
            LOOK DOWN
            AND GROAN
            MAKE JERKY MOVEMENTS. RHYME.
            WHY CAN'T
            I TELL
            WHAT TOOLS THESE ARE I MIME?


                                   Enter JAVERT.


                                   JAVERT
            Now bring me prisoner number 2468Ten.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            It is Javert, my nemesis!


                                   JAVERT
            COMMENCE EXPOSITION, 2468Ten!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I was imprisoned because I stole bread to feed my sister's
            baby, both of whom we will never mention in this musical ever
            again!  So you see, I was a GOOD SYMPATHETIC CHARACTER and
            was imprisoned unjustly!


                                   JAVERT
            And you were imprisoned for five years for that!  And THEN,
            fourteen MORE because you tried to run!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN AND JAVERT
                          (in unison)
            OH HOW PAINFUL IT WAS TO LIVE IN THE TIME OF FRANCE WHEN
            EVERYBODY HAD REVOLUTIONS!


                                   JAVERT
            Prisoner 2468Ten, you are free to no longer provide exposition.


                                   Javert hands a PIECE OF PRISONER PAPER
                                   to Jean Valjean.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            What is this?


                                   JAVERT
            It's a piece of paper.  You show it to people who want to
            hire you, and this way they know you were a prisoner.
                          (exits)


                                   Jean Valjean tries to find a job.


                                   SMELLY FRENCH GUY 
                                   WITH BRITISH ACCENT
            Yes, I'll hire you.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Excellent.  I'll just give you this piece of PRISONER PAPER
            here--


                                   SMELLY FRENCH GUY 
                                   WITH BRITISH ACCENT
            You have PRISONER PAPER?  I can't very well hire you!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Oh, poor people in France had/have it tough!


                                   SMELLY FRENCH GUY 
                                   WITH BRITISH ACCENT
            You know, you could consider just not giving me the PRISONER
            PAPER.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I cannot do that; it would betray the same strong moral
            values that led me to illegally feed my sister and her dead,
            dead baby.  And I HAVE to uphold my strong moral values.
                          (to passing by Priest)
            Oh hi Priest!






            SCENE: MONASTERY.


                                   PRIEST
            So here's the deal.  I'm going to let you stay here in this
            monastery.  Here's a delicious rack of lamb, and you get to
            sleep in the ROOM OF PRECIOUS SILVER AND OTHER EXTRAVAGANT
            EXAMPLES OF THE CHURCH'S WEALTH.  Nite-nite!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Must uphold strong moral values, 
            must uphold strong moral values, 
            must-- 
            Heck, who am I kidding.
                          (grabbing all of the silver)
            YOINK!
                          (sung very high)
            RUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   PRIEST
            POLICE!






            SCENE: THE PART OF FRANCE THAT LOOKS LIKE A TURNTABLE.


                                   Enter a bunch of policemen in bunny
                                   slippers and pajamas.


                                   POLICE CHIEF
            Jean Val...
                          (yawns)
            Jean Valjean, you're under arrest for stealing the church!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Stealing *from* the Church.


                                   POLICE CHIEF
            I ask the question here.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I didn't ask a question. 


                                   POLICE CHIEF
                          (yawns)
            Paul-Claude!  Get me my elaborate police chief hat!


                                   It enters.  It's AWESOME.






            SCENE: MONASTERY.


                                   POLICE CHIEF
            Go ahead, tell his reverence your story about how he gave
            this to you as a "gift".


                                   PRIEST
            But I did give this as a gift... I just forgot to give him
            these WEIGHTED OBJECTS as well.
                          (hands him silver candlesticks)


                                   POLICE CHIEF
            What?


                                   PRIEST
            Yes, thank you for apprehending him so I could--


                                   POLICE CHIEF
            You said he stole.


                                   PRIEST
            Well surely--


                                   POLICEMAN #2
            My wife was woken up at three in the morning for you.


                                   POLICEMAN #3
            My poor consumptive french children can't get back to their
            slumber!


                                   POLICEMAN #2
            Capital F in French.


                                   POLICEMAN #3
            Ah yes.


                                   PRIEST
            But you see, I was teaching him a lesson.


                                   A beat.


                                   Then a beatdown.


                                   POLICE CHIEF
                          (whilst beating)
            STUPID HOUSE OF GOD, MAKING ME FEEL MORALLY GUILTY *AND*
            WAKING ME UP IN THE MORNING!


                                   Jean Valjean escapes.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            This meaningful incident has made me realize the error of my
            ways.  I'm going to start again, and to prove it, I'm going
            to RIP UP THE PRISONER PAPER that for NO REASON I decided to
            show to every potential employer!


                                   PRISONER PAPER
                          (gets ripped up, 
                           is symbolic somehow)


                                   RANDOM GUY 
                                   CONVENIENTLY WALKING BY
            Hey there, you don't look like someone who has any PRISONER
            PAPER or anything.  Want to help me invent GOLD?






            SCENE: THE FUTURE.


                                   But not really the future, just ahead
                                   ten years.  


                                   POOR PEOPLE 
            LIFE IS TOUGH!
            LIFE IS TOUGH!
            WORKING IN A FACTORY IN FRANCE 
            BEFORE SOCIALIST PARTIES
            AND ANARCHISTS PLAYED A PROMINENT ROLE
            IN FORMING AND BUILDING UP TRADE UNIONS FROM THE 1870S ONWARD
            IS HARD!


                                   FOREMAN
            Who's next?


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            I'm ready for my yearly wage.


                                   FOREMAN
            Here's your wage, minus your "You Didn't Let Me Fornicate
            With You" penalty.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            No, please give me the money!  I need it to feed my fatherless
            daughter who I sent away because I hate children.


                                   FOREMAN
            What?  You have a kid?  You AREN'T a virgin and you STILL
            won't sleep with me!
                          (closes the wooden box
                           dramatically)
            You're fired!


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            Oh well.  No other jobs in the universe.  Better take up
            prostitution.


                                   VENEREAL DISEASES
            Come, sleep with us for money!


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            Oh, what a cautionary tale!
                          (sings)
            I DREAMED A DREAM
            THAT I DIDN'T GET PREGNANT
            AH WHAT A WONDERFUL FANTASY!


                                   Suddenly, a crappy large setpiece FALLS
                                   ON A GUY!


                                   A GUY
            Help!  I got run over by this VERY SLOW MOVING CART!


                                   JAVERT
            That is BAD!


                                   Enter Jean Valjean.  He has completely
                                   abandoned his former life of lying and
                                   thieving, instead using his effort to
                                   SOMEHOW BECOME THE MAYOR, 
                                   effectively showcasing how incredibly
                                   easy it is to succeed if you GIVE UP a
                                   life of crime, 
                                   say STEALING or USING YOUR MOM'S
                                   GROCERY MONEY TO HUFF GLUE.


                                   Just think about it, Jimmy.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
                          (reacting to A GUY)
            I'll save you!


                                   Valjean convinces nobody that he is
                                   STRUGGLING while lifting the 
                                   STYRAFOAM CART.


                                   JAVERT
            Wow, I don't know anybody who can convince nobody that
            they're struggling to lift a piece of styrafoam like that... 
            EXCEPT FOR JEAN VALJEAN!
            But we're about to execute a Jean Valjean that we just
            caught, so whatevs.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            You can't execute Jean Valjean, because Jean Valjean... IS
            ME!
                          (opens shirt, reveals that it
                           says 2468Ten)
            IT'S MY PRISONER TATOO!


                                   JAVERT
            Um... We don't... Do that...
                          (looks closer)
            Is this finger paint?!?


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
                          (sung very high)
            RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!






            SCENE: HOSPITAL.


                                   Jean Valjean enters in on Pro-V.  


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
                          (dying)
            Oh Cosette, come here and let your crazy blind it-hurts-when
            I-pee mother take care of you.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            She's not here.  You're delusional because you have 
            Gonorrhea.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            It's Syphilis.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            We never really specify.  It seems to be the same disease
            that Lucy, Kim, Charity and other musical females have:
            HOOKER WITH A HEART OF GOLD.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            Who the heck are you?


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I'm the man who looked on while my morally corrupt Foreman
            fired you, and then did nothing while you fell to a life as a
            prostitute, ultimately contracting the fatal, crusty disease that
            will cause you to die in about six, seven minutes tops.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            Oh.
                          (pause)
            Will you raise my child?


                                   Fantine gets beamed up to heaven.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!


                                   Enter Javert.


                                   JAVERT
            Valjean, at last--


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Cut the crap.  FIGHT!


                                   JAVERT
            Bring it!


                                   They sing at the same time a lot.


                                   THIS is how MEN fight in a MUSICAL!






            SCENE: HOUSE OF THERNARDIER, A.K.A. "SO THIS IS WHAT THE 
            SHAKESPEAREAN CLOWN HAS EVOLVED INTO"


                                   A little girl enters and sings about
                                   how absolutely cute it is when little
                                   girls sing about how absolutely cute it
                                   is when little...


                                   COSETTE
                          (singing)
            BUY A SHIRT OF ME!


                                   Enter two characters to bring much
                                   needed HUMOR to the hysterical issue of
                                   CHILD ABUSE.


                                   MME. THERNARDIER
            Cosette, I'm so glad we've enslaved you to keep you down in
            the cellar where you have to filter your own pee to drink.


                                   AUDIENCE
            Ha ha ha ha!  I love the Thernardiers!


                                   THERNARDIER
                          (to a customer)
            Here you go sir.  I've created this dinner for you which,
            though you're not aware of it, includes ingredients like cat,
            spit, and curious short curly hair!


                                   AUDIENCE
            THOSE TWO ARE HILARIOUS!  AH HA HA HA HA!


                                   MME. THERNARDIER
            I wish I wasn't fat and that I had married a man who had a
            sufficient male member!
            Also, other crude jokes about my husband's poor
            performance in bed!


                                   AUDIENCE
            I JUST WANT TO TAKE THE THERNARDIERS HOME WITH ME!


                                   PRODUCER CAMERON MACKINTOSH
                          (with figurines, hats, novelty
                           socks)
            Now you can!


                                   Enter LOTTERY-WINNING MAYOR.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I have a kajillion dollars.  Here.  Gimme Cosette.


                                   THERNARDIERS
            Sure stranger, do whatever you want.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
                          (to Cosette)
            Cosette, now you're my daughter.


                                   COSETTE
            Yay!  Scruffy stranger, I love you immediately!






            SCENE: SKIPPING THROUGH TIME FASTER THAN A WHIRLING TURNTABLE
            OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM


                                   Enter Javert.


                                   JAVERT
                          (singing)
            THERE...
            THERE ARE SOME STARS...
            I'M SO MUCH LIKE THEM...
            DON'T ASK ME HOW!
            THIS I SWEAR BY
            SOME STARS!






            SCENE: PARIS?  MAYBE.


                                   Half-way into the musical seems like an
                                   *exceptional* time to introduce every
                                   main character!


                                   We are introduced to them by an
                                   annoying little kid:


                                   GAVROCHE
            `Ello govnah!  I'm a plucky li'il street ga'min, so b'sure to
            fall `n luv w't m' now b'fuh I get blewn t'bits!  Blimey!


                                   EPONINE
            I love you Marius!


                                   MARIUS
            I don't notice.  I love that girl that just walked by!


                                   COSETTE
                          (just walked by)
            I love Marius, and am conflicted about abandoning my elderly
            father for him!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I'm elderly now!  My beard is WHITE!  But I still can lift my
            weight in Mariuses! 


                                   ENJOLRAS
            I'm Enjolras!  Try pronouncing my name!  YOU CAN'T!


                                   THUD!


                                   Well look at that.  
                                   A barricade just fell!


                                   MARIUS
            Wait, now I'M conflicted about whether to fight in a war that
            I haven't quite yet figured out the specifics or motivation
            of, or to chase after that girl I just saw that suddenly I'm
            in love with!


                                   COSETTE
            My name is Cosette!


                                   MARIUS
            Oh it's so embarrassing, I don't even know your name!


                                   COSETTE
            Cosette!


                                   MARIUS
            Will I EVER learn her name?


                                   COSETTE
            Idiot.


                                   ENJOLRAS
            Get serious, Marius, it's wartime, and General Lamarque is
            dead.


                                   MARIUS
            Lamwhat?


                                   ENJOLRAS
            You haven't heard of him and we won't bother explaining, but
            put faith in the fact that it's VITALLY IMPORTANT TO THE REST
            OF THE PLOT AND THE REASON I WILL DIE.  
            Come sing a wartime song with us now.


                                   MARIUS
            Okay.


                                   ENJOLRAS
                          (singing)
            RED!


                                   GANG
            THE COLOR OF SOME BLOOD!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            BLACK!


                                   GANG
            THE COLOR OF NOT WHITE!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            RED!


                                   GANG
            THE COLOR OF... SOME... TWIZZLERS LICORICE?


                                   ENJOLRAS
                          (despondent)
            Black.


                                   GANG
            THE COLOR OF... UMM...


                                   STUDENT #1
            Charcoal?


                                   STUDENT #2
            Graphite from a pencil!


                                   STUDENT #3
            Also licorice!  But not twizzlers, a different one.


                                   ENJOLRAS
                          (British)
            Wankers.  
            TOMORROW WE WILL DIE AWFUL, GRUESOME DEATHS!


                                   EVERYONE comes out on stage and screams
                                   at the top of their lungs at the same
                                   time.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            TOMORROW IS IMPENDING!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            TOMORROW HAS MEANINGFUL MEANING!


                                   JAVERT
                          (what we always thought the real
                           lyric was:)
            ONE MORE DAY TILL REVOLUTION
            WE WILL NIP IT IN THE BUD
            I WILL JOIN THESE LITTLE SCHOOLBOYS.
            THEY WILL WET THEMSELVES!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I AM SINGING!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            I AM SINGING WHILE HE IS SINGING!


                                   EVERYBODY
                          (together marching idiotically)
            I AM SINGING 
            WHILE SHE IS SINGING 
            WHILE HE IS SINGING 
            AND HOT DANG ISN'T THIS DRAMATICALLY EFFECTIVE!


                                   Curtain falls.






            SCENE: EPONINE'S PATHETIC PSYCHE.


                                   Enter a very beautiful girl playing the
                                   novel's ugliest most-toothless
                                   character.


                                   EPONINE
            Come on 14 year old girls, hold hands and sing along!  
                          (singing)
            ON MY OWN
            THERE ONCE WAS A GUY I LIKED A LOT
            EXCEPT HE
            DIDN'T LIKE ME BA-ACK
            AND I CRIED
            I WISH THAT HE HAD LIKED ME
            AND THAT IS WHY I SYMPATHIZE
            WITH EPONINE WHEN SHE'S SHOT.

                                   Adolescent girls everywhere sing it at 
                                   Sweet Sixteens.

                                   If you encounter one of these girls, please
                                   feel free to give them a sharp flick of their 
                                   earlobes, on behalf of the authors.






            SCENE: BACK AT THE BARRICADE.


                                   JAVERT appears disguised as a student,
                                   holding Gen Chem textbooks and wearing
                                   a Phi Delta Alpha shirt tied at the
                                   waist.


                                   JAVERT
            What's up guys!  I'm so totally all about your decision to
            overthrow the government for whatever reasons you seem to
            have that maybe you never really figured out!  
            Can I infiltrate your awesome club?


                                   MARIUS
            We *do* need somebody to find out their attacks and the like.


                                   ENJOLRAS
                          (pointing at Javert)
            Yeah, we can trust him, he's old!


                                   GAVROCHE
            You can't trust him... He's INSPECTOR JAVERT!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            ...


                                   GAVROCHE
            The BAD GUY!


                                   ENJOLRAS
            Oh.


                                   Everybody ties him up.  Kinky.


                                   MARIUS
            Sigh, can't trust old men... 
            So who's gonna execute him?


                                   Jean Valjean enters.


                                   ENJOLRAS
                          (pointing at Valjean)
            We can trust HIM!  He's OLD!


                                   Suddenly Eponine runs over the
                                   barricade and is shot!


                                   EPONINE
            Marius!  I died so I could give you a letter from Cosette!


                                   MARIUS
            You poor pathetic mess-up.


                                   It suddenly starts to rain.


                                   MARIUS
            Wow, I gotta protect you from the rain.


                                   EPONINE
            Jesus, forget the rain.  I'm DYING.


                                   MARIUS
            Oh, poor Eponin--


                                   She FINALLY dies and is beamed up to
                                   heaven.


                                   Rain suddenly (and conveniently) stops.


                                   MARIUS
                          (has completed his 2.5 seconds
                           of caring about Eponine)
            OK, so who wants a drink?
                          (flings Eponine's body to the ground)


                                   ENJOLRAS
            Yes, as your leader-ish person, I command EVERYBODY to get
            inebriated the night before a big battle.


                                   GAVROCHE
            I can't drink because I'm underage.


                                   ENJOLRAS
            Are you old enough to loot dead bodies for ammo?


                                   GAVROCHE
            Yes.


                                   ENJOLRAS
            Climb!


                                   Little adorable Gavroche climbs across
                                   the barricade but, just as Eponine was,
                                   is shot.


                                   In the head.  


                                   Twice.


                                   Enter his many little French 8-year-old
                                   friends.


                                   LITTLE PIERRE
            Gavroche!  Gav--
                          (is shot in the face)


                                   SACRE BLEU
            Oh no, how could--
                          (shot in the skull)


                                   DOUCHE OUI OUI
            My poor friends are dying!
                          (shot in the undeveloped
                           uhh...you-know-whats.)


                                   Thousands of little children appear on
                                   stage.  A torrid bloodbath ensues.  It
                                   is terrifying.

                                   Aren't you glad you saw a musical?


                                   LITTLE PIERRE
                          (dying with a face of destroyed
                           flesh)
            WAR IS BAD!
                          (falls)


                                   Everybody keeps fighting.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I'm gonna let you go, Javert.


                                   JAVERT
            I have a gun.  I've spent my entire life with CHASING AFTER
            YOU on the backburner.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Whatevs, `Vert.  Go away.


                                   Javert runs across the barricades.  Of
                                   course, he is not shot because he is 
                                   not WOMEN or CHILDREN.


                                   LITTLE DEAD KIDS
            You suck.


                                   Suddenly, everybody dies except for
                                   Jean Valjean. 
                                   The stage is awash in the light of
                                   heavenbeams.


                                   SCOTTY
            THERE'S TOO MANY CAPTAIN!  I DON'T HAVE THE POWER!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
                          (looking at an almost-dead
                           Marius)
            Hey, this is the kid who impregnated my fake daughter a few
            minutes ago!  I ought to save him with my super old man
            strength!


                                   The decrepit old Valjean effortlessly
                                   slings the full-grown man over his back
                                   and jauntily sprints into a sewer.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            WHEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Dead bodies litter the ground.  The
                                   barricade rotates to the other side to
                                   show those who died upon it.  


                                   Then it rotates back to the first side
                                   again and, just like in the Legend of
                                   Zelda, all the dead bodies have blinked
                                   out of existence!


                                   Possible explanations:
                                   - LES MIS is actually a video game.
                                   - French People is Magic!






            SCENE: PARIS'S FAMOUS LABRINTHY SEWERS, REPRESENTED BY 
            "NOT ENOUGH SET".


                                   Jean Valjean gets really tired and puts
                                   down the body of Marius, 
                                   then goes to the side of the stage and
                                   instantaneously falls asleep for plot
                                   reasons.


                                   THERNARDIER
                          (entering, taking a gold tooth
                           from a dead body)
            I LIKE TO STEAL GOLD FROM CORPSES!


                                   AUDIENCE
            Hey... Weren't you the funny character?


                                   THERNARDIER
            I used to be.  I got used up more than my daughter
            Eponine whose death I haven't noticed.


                                   AUDIENCE
            Wait, she's your daughter?


                                   THERNARDIER
            Yeah.


                                   AUDIENCE
            How can you tell?


                                   THERNARDIER
            If you can remember that Cosette is the grown up version of
            young Cosette, 
            AND that when she was little there was a blonde girl who was
            our daughter and had no lines of dialogue,
            AND that she was sitting next to us for a minute during the
            first Paris scene, 
            then it's EASY to put the dots together and realize that
            she's our daughter!


                                   AUDIENCE
            You're still not funny anymore.


                                   Suddenly, Jean Valjean wakes up, hoists
                                   Marius over his head, and jauntily
                                   skips along.  He is BETTER NOW!






            SCENE: PLASTIC BRIDGE.


                                   JAVERT
            Oh wow, a guy who I casually pursued around a very small area
            of France for a few years has spared my life.  Definitely a
            very good reason for killing myself.
                          (jumps)
            FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!


                                   He spins around a little bit while
                                   standing, then dives into the floor
                                   like it's a slip and slide.


                                   JAVERT
            Retarded.






            SCENE: WORST SONG EVER.


                                   Enter a bunch of women who died cross
                                   dressed as men on the barricade.  
                                   They sing the song "TURNING".


                                   A joke definitely belongs here.  But
                                   frankly, we're not quite sure what to
                                   do with "TURNING".


                                   (Apparently, neither were they.)






            SCENE: OTHER WORST SONG EVER.


                                   MARIUS
            This musical is definitely TOO SHORT and it's just FLYING BY! 
            Let's take a moment to eulogize some minor characters we
            never bothered to get to know in the first place.
                          (singing)
            THERE ARE CHAIRS AND THERE ARE TABLES
            THEY ARE MADE OF LOTS OF WOOD
            NOW MY FRIENDS ARE NOT ALIVE NOW
            THAT IS BAD, NO IT'S NOT GOOD.


                                   And finally, an hour and a half after
                                   having met him, we've CHARACTERIZED THE
                                   CHARACTER ONCE PLAYED BY MICHAEL BALL.






            SCENE: WEDDING.


                                   Marius and Cosette are getting married
                                   with all of their closest friends.


                                   Yes, somehow they have FRIENDS even
                                   though Cosette JUST MOVED THERE and all
                                   of Marius's friends DIED.


                                   Enter a pair of hideous outfits.


                                   MME. THERNARDIER
            We haven't evolved at all as characters throughout the
            passing of time or during our descent into poverty!


                                   THERNARDIER
            I haven't even aged half of what Jean Valjean has in the same
            time!


                                   MME. THERNARDIER
            Sh!  Distract the dead-alive friends while I steal this
            expensive silverware and hide it inside my womanly genitals!


                                   AUDIENCE
            Yay Thernardiers!






            SCENE: JEAN VALJEAN IS DYING, SO THE MUSICAL *MUST* BE ENDING
            RIGHT?  THEY CAN'T VERY WELL GO ON FOREVER.


                                   Jean Valjean lights a pair of weighted
                                   objects and waits to die. It takes
                                   awhile.


                                   CANDLESTICKS
            We were the items Jean Valjean stole about 3 hours ago, and
            we represent...
            We represent...
            WE REPRESENT!  Yo.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Gonna go die,
            Gonna go die,
            Goin' to da sky,
            Gonna go die.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
                          (a ghost)
            Hi Valjean.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Hello, herpes lady! ;)


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            It was syphillis. 


                                   EPONINE
                          (also a ghost)
            Hi Valjean.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Wait, who are you?


                                   EPONINE
            Eponine.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            ...


                                   EPONINE
            Right, we never met.  How awkward that God chose me to guide
            you to the next world.


                                   FANTINE PRO-V
            We're here to take you off to Heavenland.


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            Really?  Jeez, my children who abandoned me better show up
            soon to hear my whole life story all over again.


                                   MARIUS & COSETTE
            Hi, pops!


                                   COSETTE
            Father, I haven't seen you in years but we suddenly figured
            out where you were a few minutes before you die!


                                   MARIUS
            Your father wanted me to pretend I didn't know where he was.


                                   COSETTE
            But why, Papa?


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I was tired of you.  Now, I have a story to tell you,
            about a man who stole a loaf of bread, and in that time,
            learned a very difficult lesson of how a hypothetical man
            ------------------------------------------------------------
            >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BANDWIDTH OVERLOAD<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
            ------------------------------------------------------------
            and that's why this Jean Valjean never got to have kids.  So
            now that I've told you this story, who am I?
                          (to Marius)
            WHO AM I?


                                   MARIUS
            Oh no, he's got Alzheimers.


                                   COSETTE
            Please father, don't die!


                                   JEAN VALJEAN
            I will obey.. I will try...
                          (gets beamed up to heaven)


                                   COSETTE
            Papa, you didn't try hard enough!
                          (cries)


                                   Suddenly, every dead character ever
                                   shows up.  The stage is FILLED with
                                   dead people.


                                   MARIUS
            Oh no, ghosts... 
                          (to Cosette)
            And you and I are the only ones in all of
            France who didn't die!  How depressing.


                                   COSETTE
            Marius, will you do the honors?


                                   MARIUS
            It's all that a loving husband can do.
                          (beats Cosette with the
                           weighted objects)


                                   COSETTE
                          (the beam takes her to a very
                           crowded heaven's waiting room
                           whilst they maketh some
                           spaceth for her)


                                   MARIUS
            Now it is I alone left.  YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
                          (runs the candlestick through
                           his own heart, is beamed to heaven)


                                   EVERYBODY
                          (bleeding profusely)
            TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD!


                                        RED-AND-BLACKOUT.

From the mind of...

I am starting a "segment." I used to have a blog called Speeches before my time.  It didn't work out, but my plan was to write speeches that seem like they came from the 18 somethings so if you need to tell someone something you could do that in a really cool way. I thought, since I would still love to do that, I'd do it on here.
The theme for these will be "From the mind of...". You know how some people have sheets of paper that say "From the desk of" and then their name? I'm going to do that. And if you don't know who I'm talking about, you should go do some research. Or leave a comment and I'll elaborate. Enjoy and leave suggestions!
From the mind of...
Combeferre
Republic? That is what we are all striving for in our minds, to be self-governing. To have a life of justice where one may do what he pleases when he pleases without violating the monarch's rule. Do I think humankind can achieve this? Yes. Do I think we can achieve it? ...Perhaps not. I daren't say anything to our fearless leader, for he should surely think I have committed treason, but we all know this will not end well. 
Firstly, we lack the strength in arms and men. We have ten in numbers. That is not enough against all of the national guard they throw at us.
Secondly, though I would not like to admit such a thing, I am worried about Enjolras. For him, the circles under his eyes and the constant flow of books under his arm are normal. Lately, the circles have been darker, and the books more and more. He has been forced to carry a bookbag with him. How will our leader lead if he is too busy to keep up his health? I am not the only one who thinks so, Joly agrees with me. Then again, it is Joly...
We are in need of a fine muse also. They seem to believe fighting for a republic for Patria is enough of an inspiration, but I as a philosopher know that at some moments some may think that the muse of life is more important.
Am I to say something about all this? No. For I think it is better to die fighting to help the uprising of the people than to discourage the whole plan and leave us extinct of hope.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

WHOA!

Hey guys. I just wanted to post this AMAZING video really quick. One of my LM/POTO friends sent me a link to this and it is AMAZING! I can't believe the range this guy has!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Phantom of the Opera!!!

OMG! I JUST SAW THE PHANTOM. AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING, YES, CAPS LOCK IS NESSECARY.

IT WAS AMAZING!!!! THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE IT. IT WAS PERFECT!

THE WONDERFUL LOWS OF THE PHANTOM WAS MAGNIFICENT. I LOVED THE WAY THAT IT THEY PLAYED WITH THE SPEAKERS AROUND THE THEATRE. OH, AND CHRISTINE! CHRISTINE!!! LET ME START FROM THE BEGINNING.

When I walked in to the theatre (We were almost there late! But we made it!!!) I was BLOWN AWAY by the set. The place I went to had no curtains so we could see the scene for the prologue. They had these REALLY cool billowy fabric things tha they pulled away dramatically when the overture started. So the prologue was cool. There was an old wheelchair Raoul.

Then they pulled off the cover of the chandelier and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OHMIGOSH!!!!! HONESTLY, WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT ORGAN?!!?!?!?!?!?!? IF ALL ELSE FAILS I WILL BE THE OFFICIAL ORGAN PLAYER FOR THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF PHANTOM!!!


Think of me was awesome too. The Christine sounded exactly like Sarah Brightman at parts!!!!!
We didn't have Sierra Boggess either, but I needed a good GIF to prove my point. We had Emilie Lynn. She was TERRIFIC!!!! 
http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2494832134/2erhorhyyciqgda47zdz.jpeg
Emilie Lynn!
Angel of Music was cool. I didn't expect the Meg to sound the way that she did. I am a total sucker for the original London cast, so I expected her voice to be higher. But she was an AWESOME dancer!!!



And then Little Lotte. WOW. Amazing. RAOUL WAS BRILLIANT!!!!!! I have totally fallen in love with Anthony Downing's voice. 

AND THE PHANTOM!!!!!!! HE LEFT ME SPEECHLESS. WE HAD JONATHAN ROXMOUTH!! HE WAS A TERRIFIC BARITONE!!

He wasn't exactly a Michael Crawford, but his high notes sounded exactly like Ramin Karimloo's!!! (Who my friends make fun of me obsessing over by calling him Ramin Caribou.) Anyways, that satisfied my requirements. I loved it. And the Music of the Night was AWESOME!!!
  

And of course, our favorite opera managers did a brilliant job! Though I think they cast Andre wrong (aka Armand. In the book.) Like I said, I am a total ORIGINAL cast person and I was used to him having a voice higher like Raoul's. His was very low, but still brilliant!!! And of course, I love the souvenir I got.


One last pic for Ramin-- only a few people can pull off the deformed Phantom and still manage to look good.
 








Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Phantom countdown

I'm so excited! I am going to see the Phantom in 4 days! I thought I'd do a tribute to the original phantom: Michael Crawford!!

I have the original Phantom soundtrack, so every time I listen to him, it sends shivers up my spine.

Lists of 10

Seeing as I'd enjoy living in about any other century, I thought I'd make a couple lists. That way, if somehow scientists invent time travel, I'll know who I'm going to visit first. Or if they invent ways to jump into stories, I'll know who to visit first. Leave me a list of your own in the comments!

Top 10 important people from history I'd like to visit:
  1. Ben Franklin- he's a personal idol of mine, and I'd also like to ask him why on earth he proposed DST!
  2.  Michelangelo- to possibly bring some happiness into his life and encourage him not to be such a loner.
  3. JFK- so I can tell him to put the bulletproof windows on his car.
  4. Adolf Hitler- to find out what in the world could have made him so angry in the first place.
  5. Homer- because his name is cool and I would ask him about the Greek gods.
  6. John Adams- because he seems really cool. In the 1776 movie he has blue hair! And he and Ben were the only ones pushing for the Declaration.
  7. Bill Clinton- to tell him to be careful of what he does in the White House...
  8. Abraham Lincoln- to tell him to avoid Ford's theatre.
  9. Anne Bonny and Mary Read- because...I don't know. But the two of them are really cool. I mean, who wouldn't want to dress like a man and join a pirate crew?
  10. Walt Disney- with the kind of things Disney is supporting today, like John Carter, I'd want to see if he'd approve.
Top 5 dead authors I'd like to meet:
  1. Victor Hugo- to tell him how brilliant he is. And how his story because possibly the most popular musical of all time. And to console him since most of his children died before he did.
  2. Will Shakespeare- to find out how he got his inspiration for his tragedies.
  3. Edgar Allan Poe- to ask him about his poetry and find out what happened when he disappeared for three days.
  4. Gaston Leroux- no reason. Or is there...well, he wrote mysteries! That's cool...
  5. Thomas Paine- he was such a good motivator.
Top 10 fictional book characters I'd like to meet:
  1. Enjolras- just because.
  2. Harry Potter- to ask him why he seems to get into trouble every single year.
  3. Jehan- to get tips on poetry.
  4. Erik Destler- to make him feel better about himself. Inner beauty...
  5. Oliver Nocturne- because he is the protagonist of the one cool vampire novel series. And I'd really like to meet him because he sounds kind of like me.
  6. Percy Jackson- so I can find out if one of my parents is really a Greek god in disguise. We could be buddies.
  7. Combeferre- because Combeferre is awesome. And intelligent.
  8. Encyclopedia Brown- if I ever want to get into detective skills I should talk to him. With a name like that, he's got to be smart. Because no one ever calls him Leroy.
  9. Hermione- to ask her why she chose Ron over Harry. Honestly, who would?
  10. Courfeyrac- because we ALL love Courfeyrac.
Top 10 fictional cartoon/movie characters I'd like to meet:
  1. Lisa Simpson- we can talk about how it is to be misunderstood and other stuff. I can actually imagine myself sitting in a coffee shop with someone with her personality.
  2. Bart Simpson- because I need to know how to pull pranks with childish innocence. He can also teach me how to get away with stuff!
  3. Phineas- to find out what happened to him. Normal kids can't do what he does.
  4. Peter Parker/Spiderman- to find out which spider development institute he got bitten at. What? This isn't some plot for me to get bitten!
  5. Voldemort- although he's more of a book character, I'd like to ask him how he became bald.
  6. Darth Vader- because I need light saber-wielding lessons. Also he's one of the coolest bad guys ever. And I need to tell him that Padme didn't die because of him. Technically.
  7. Leia- to tell her to not kiss her brother. Even if it is to make Han jealous.
  8. Senator Palpatine- to kill him before he can cause anymore harm.
  9. Bruce Banner- to help him with anger management.
  10. Hawkeye- so he can teach me archery.
Let me know your favorites!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Inspiration has strucken! (In a sense.)

I have gotten a sudden inspiration to blog! It's probably because I have time now that I'm taking a twication. Anyways, I had to do this English assignment and didn't quite pass. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but that English assignment was the best piece I have written. Maybe ever. But I wrote a poem about my feelings. I think I channeled my anger into the poem pretty well. Please let me know what you think! (That means comment.)

You have a gift for words; he said.
Perhaps I let it in my head
For as I lay upon my bed,
My heart was filled with glee.

Alas, the morning I awoke
And not a single word was spoke 
I'd failed the test, and what was took:
The spirit out of me.

What?; exclaimed I; Yes, what is this?
To drag me down in the abyss,
The sheer stupidity of this,
Surely it cannot be!

Then something hardened in my heart,
For surely I had done my part,
To just be thrown into the cart
Would not become of me.

With pride in self and new resolve
Into the challenge I did delve,
And of the piece? It did evolve.
Well, see what thinketh he.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

I am having a major freak out!

I went to the movie theatre yesterday. GUESS WHAT I SAW?!?!? I'll just show you. This is the best thing EVER!!
I can't wait. I am SO EXTREMELY excited that they chose Sam Barks. She is the best. Wow. Promise me you'll watch! Or leave a comment! WOOHOO!

Quoth the Raven.

I just read the Raven for my literature class. Good god! That is the most, beautiful, perfectly-paced creation of poetry I have ever read!! Edgar Allen Poe-try is genius. If you haven't read The Raven, read it. NOW. Hurry up! The rest of my post will still be here waiting for you.

...

Carrying on, one of the things I like doing while reading poetry is finding the beat with my fingers. Like, if it's eight beats, I'll tap along to everything. Poe captures this momentously. If you say it the right way, it sounds unbelievable. 
AND THE ADJECTIVES!!!
I love adjectives! They're do or die. Do, and you have a wonderful vivid piece of writing. Don't...and your writing dies. The adjectives in The Raven are simply amazing. I can't think of an adjective that can do it justice.
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor... 

I'm going to memorize this poem. I have the first two stanzas down! Only about 15 more to go...
Actually, the first place I heard this poem was on the Simpsons. It was on one of those Halloween specials. Treehouse of horror? That's it. Bart and Lisa were telling scary stories! And Lisa (who, I find, is a lot like me!) was reading that poem. And Homer freaked out! But I can't do it justice.
And, unfortunately I can't find it on a YouTube video for you all. You'll have to do with my pictures.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door --
                         Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for the lost Lenore --
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore --
                         Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door --
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; --
                         This it is, and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you " -- here I opened wide the door; ----
                         Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" --
                         Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore --
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;--
                         'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

 Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door --
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door --
                         Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore --
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
                        Quoth the raven "Nevermore."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door --
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
                        With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered --
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before --
On the morrow
he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
                        Then the bird said "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore --
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
                        Of "Never -- nevermore."
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
                        Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplght gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
                         
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite -- respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
                         Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! --
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted --
On this home by Horror haunted -- tell me truly, I implore --
Is there --
is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"
                         Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
 "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil -- prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us -- by that God we both adore --
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore --
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
                         Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
                        Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; 

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
 And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
                         Shall be lifted -- nevermore!