Our Dear Little Jehan On Thoughts Of Revolution, Poetry, And Clouds
Have you ever stopped to look at the clouds? They are more important than we think, sometimes. I must confess one of my guilty pleasures is to lie back on the field and stare up at them. I often lose track of time and end up returning home when it is nearly dusk. They look like things and are simply facinating.
Clouds are like poetry. Each work is unique and takes time to form to be brilliant. They can be shaped, but sometimes they should not be tampered with. That is one of the reasons I love being a poet. I let my emotions flow, but they can be hidden sometimes. That is part of my gentle spirit.
I play the flute. Did you know that? Many people overlook the little things I do for the big picture, but that's alright with me. I am a small part of the big picture. Even my friends forget about my sometimes, but I always end up forgiving them, because they always end up being sorry about it. It's not their fault. I am not the most assertive nor memorable member of our group. I could stay mad at them, but it's not in my nature.
However, people think that because I am the 'gentle one,' as some people put it, I have smaller beliefs than others in the revolution. This is not true. I assure you I am quite firm about my beliefs, and while I may get slightly flustered when asked, I will defend them. I have the same amount of determination as the others, but I just do not go around showing it every second.
The one thing, and the one thing only that I cannot deal with is the outcome of lives involving our revolution. I know as well as any that it will harm others. Women and children will get sucked into our revolution unwillingly, and our revolution will likely lead to our deaths. It is not that I mind, though. It is the death of others. They seem to want to hide it from me, but I know we will end up fighting. Causing the death of others. I... I cannot bring myself to do that, but I know I will anyways. It's a sin. An atrocity. As vile as our enemy may be, no one deserves that fate. They do not think that way and they would not hesitate to end my life, but there you have it. My internal conflict.
And what can I do about it? I cannot do anything. Who do I go to? Enjolras would shame me if he knew. Combeferre would be understandably worried. Most of the other Amis would laugh or shrug it off. So here I am. I can lock myself up in my world of poetry and clouds, but I know it will not last. It is the best I can do.
Clouds are like poetry. Each work is unique and takes time to form to be brilliant. They can be shaped, but sometimes they should not be tampered with. That is one of the reasons I love being a poet. I let my emotions flow, but they can be hidden sometimes. That is part of my gentle spirit.
I play the flute. Did you know that? Many people overlook the little things I do for the big picture, but that's alright with me. I am a small part of the big picture. Even my friends forget about my sometimes, but I always end up forgiving them, because they always end up being sorry about it. It's not their fault. I am not the most assertive nor memorable member of our group. I could stay mad at them, but it's not in my nature.
However, people think that because I am the 'gentle one,' as some people put it, I have smaller beliefs than others in the revolution. This is not true. I assure you I am quite firm about my beliefs, and while I may get slightly flustered when asked, I will defend them. I have the same amount of determination as the others, but I just do not go around showing it every second.
The one thing, and the one thing only that I cannot deal with is the outcome of lives involving our revolution. I know as well as any that it will harm others. Women and children will get sucked into our revolution unwillingly, and our revolution will likely lead to our deaths. It is not that I mind, though. It is the death of others. They seem to want to hide it from me, but I know we will end up fighting. Causing the death of others. I... I cannot bring myself to do that, but I know I will anyways. It's a sin. An atrocity. As vile as our enemy may be, no one deserves that fate. They do not think that way and they would not hesitate to end my life, but there you have it. My internal conflict.
And what can I do about it? I cannot do anything. Who do I go to? Enjolras would shame me if he knew. Combeferre would be understandably worried. Most of the other Amis would laugh or shrug it off. So here I am. I can lock myself up in my world of poetry and clouds, but I know it will not last. It is the best I can do.
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